🍻 How to Enjoy a Nomikai in Japan: Your Essential Work Party Guide

A nomikai (飲み会) isn’t just grabbing a drink after work—it’s a central part of Japanese office culture. Whether you’re bonding with colleagues, breaking the ice with your boss, or just trying to avoid looking like a total outsider, this guide walks you through how nomikai work, what to expect, and how to navigate them like a pro (even if you don’t drink).

🏮 What Exactly Is a Nomikai?

Nomikai means “drinking party,” but it's not just about alcohol—it's about team bonding. These gatherings usually happen at izakayas (Japanese pubs) after work, and they’re often semi-official company events. They can be for welcoming new hires, celebrating the end of a project, or just blowing off steam.

While technically optional, skipping every nomikai can come across as aloof or disinterested in team dynamics. That said, it’s totally normal these days for people to attend and not drink.

🗣️ "Nominication": The Unspoken Business Culture

The term nominication (a mash-up of "nomu" = drink, and "communication") reflects how drinking together is seen as a way to drop formalities. Hierarchies soften, colleagues open up, and you might finally get to hear what your boss actually thinks. Many deals, mentorships, and key team dynamics start here.

🔢 Step-by-Step: How to Nomikai

1. Getting There & Where to Sit

You’ll usually head to an izakaya together after work. Once there, seating follows unspoken rules:

The most senior or “偉い” (erai) person sits deepest in the room—furthest from the door.

Junior members sit near the entrance. Same goes for taxis: the lowest-ranked person sits shotgun and pays the fare.

If you're new or unsure, just ask or wait to be guided.

2. The First Toast

Don't touch your drink until someone makes a toast—typically the boss or most senior member. You’ll raise your glass and say kanpai! (cheers!). Only then should you take your first sip.

3. Pouring Etiquette

It's polite to pour for others, especially your seniors.

Hold the bottle with both hands if you're junior.

Don’t refill your own glass—wait for someone else to offer.

This ritual isn’t just manners—it’s a subtle way to show care and attentiveness.

4. Conversation & Atmosphere

Topics are usually light: hobbies, weekend plans, food, entertainment. You might also hear coworkers open up more candidly—this is often the only setting where true opinions (本音 / honne) are shared. Avoid heavy topics like politics unless you're clearly invited into one.

Don't worry if you’re not drinking—just being present and friendly is enough. Many younger people in Japan today are drinking less or not at all. Soft drinks and zero-alcohol beers are common at izakaya, and nobody will bat an eye if you say "飲めないん です" (I don’t drink).

5. How to Leave Without Being Rude

Leaving before everyone else? It’s best to time your exit with something socially acceptable—like catching your last train. Say something like:

「そろそろ 終電 なので…」 (I’ve got to catch the last train…)

「今日 は ありがとうございました、お先に 失礼します」 (Thanks for today, I’ll excuse myself now.)

A quiet bow, a thank-you, and you’re good to go. Don’t slip out without saying anything—it reads as disrespectful.

🔍 Small Tips That Go a Long Way

Use chopsticks and pour drinks properly—it’s noticed.

Keep your phone away unless snapping a photo of food.

You’re not expected to pay the full bill—most companies split the cost or cover it entirely, especially for juniors.

🍻 Final Takeaway

Nomikai can feel formal at first, but they’re also an incredible chance to build relationships.

That said, I get how intimidating it can be when you’re not sure what you’re doing. When I was working at a Japanese company, I was so cautious about everything—where to sit, when to pour drinks, how much to drink. I overthought every little move, and the whole thing gave me a lot of anxiety at first.

But over time, those same nomikai helped me break the ice with my team. I got close with the other new grads, made real friendships, and even today I still talk with a few of them over Instagram. Once I got to know everyone better, I felt more at ease, and honestly, it made working at the company much more enjoyable. Looking back, that time ended up being some of my happiest memories working in Japan.

We're rooting for you. Ganbatte!

🍶 Frequently Asked Questions

What is a nomikai?

A nomikai (飲み会) is a Japanese work drinking party, typically held at an izakaya after work. It’s not just about alcohol—it’s a semi-formal bonding ritual for colleagues. These events might welcome new hires, celebrate milestones, or just give the team a chance to unwind.

Is going to nomikai mandatory?

Technically no—but skipping every one can make you seem distant or uninterested in team culture. Showing up matters more than drinking. These days, it’s totally fine to attend and order tea or another soft drink.

What’s “nominication”?

Nominication (ノミニケーション) = nomu (drink) + communication. It refers to the way nomikai soften social hierarchies. People speak more freely, relationships deepen, and you may hear your boss’s honest thoughts for the first time. It’s where honne (true feelings) come out.

Where should I sit at a nomikai?

There’s a seating hierarchy.

The most senior person sits farthest from the door.

Juniors and new hires sit near the entrance.

Same rule applies to taxis: juniors ride in front and often pay.

Not sure? Just wait to be guided by your colleagues. Nobody expects you to know the layout your first time!

When do I start drinking at a nomikai?

Wait for the first toast, usually made by the most senior person. Raise your glass when they say "kanpai!" and take your first sip after.

What’s the right way to pour drinks at a nomikai?

Pour for others—especially those more senior.

Use both hands when pouring if you're junior.

Don’t pour your own drink; someone else should offer.

Is it OK not to drink at a nomikai?

Absolutely. Many people in Japan, especially younger generations, don’t drink. Just say:

「飲めないんです」 (I don’t drink) …and order a soft drink or zero-alcohol beer. No one will push you.

How do I leave a nomikai early without being rude?

Leaving before others? Use a polite reason like catching the last train:

「そろそろ終電なので…」 (It’s about time for the last train...)

「今日はありがとうございました、お先に失礼します」 (Thank you for today—I’ll excuse myself.)

Add a slight bow and you’re good. Just don’t leave silently—that’s considered rude.